- Did anyone know that a 2x4 hurts when it hits? - Wednesday, May 02, 2007 I got hit very hard with one yesterday, and no, I don't mean that literally got hit with a board. It was sorta in human form instead of wood form. I have come to the conclusion, after about 2 months of sleepless nights, that it is time for me to turn in my cape. I would like to get through the next year with as much joy and sanity as possible. I want to be a light to people that I meet at school and work. I want to be kind and last week I was none to kind at work. I lost about twice in two days. God can't use me if I am being a stubborn, self will, strong headed, unwilling to change child. I think that I got all the adjectives. I am sure there are some to added. I have went as far as marking things off my schedule so that I can rest. It is starting to go like this......I really want to work camp this year and if I work camp then I can't teach VBS. If I am going home this weekend than I need this weekend at home to rest. I have actually wrote NO!!! on certain days on my calender to let me know that I am not to plan anything and if something gets planned, oh well, I will not be there because those are my days to chill and do as I want. I am ready to let myself out of the oppression that I have put me under. I want to do well in school because I don't want to look back and say I could have gotten better grades if I would have just had the time to study. I want to be a light to people and I can't do that if I am so stressed out with all that I have to do because if that is the case than the my life is revolving around me again and not around what I can do for God. Most of all, I don't want to have a complete nervous and mental break down. I was informed yesterday that is where I am heading if don't make some changes and if I got to that place there would be no understanding for me because I did it to myself. So, this is me saying that I am not going down that road. So, to those of you who told me to turn in my cape.....here it is. Enjoy. I am going to enjoy having my alone time with God again because life got so busy that I didn't have the time and when I did....I was to tired to do it. So, with my personal time with God back maybe I can start sleeping again at night. Now, I get to learn how to deal with the guilt of saying NO!. I hope everyone is having a good day. Despite what that post sounded like.....I am having a really good day. No longer superwoman is signing off now. Have a good day.

posted by Jess @ 1:29 PM 8 Comments: At 2:33 PM,  Tammy Washburn said... Yeah!!!!! Yippee!!!! Throwing Confetti for you!!!!!! You should have no guilt for taking care of yourself, your health or your relationship with God. The only people who want to make you feel guilty are the ones who don't want to do it themselves and want to put it off on you! There are times I just look at that busy, busy church schedule and say, "ya'll just enjoy yourself without me" this time. I can't attend every function. You can get so wrapped up in church stuff and activities that you can actually backslide while doing it. And unless you have some volunteers out there ready to support you full time and pay all your bills and put a house over your head....you gotta work...you gotta eat...you gotta finish your education so you can do the two previous things...and you gotta rest. My hubby dropped a crow bar on my head one time...does that count? :) :)   At 2:36 PM,  Anonymous said... I have never had a crow bar on my head, but I have had this sme 2x4 a few times! I'm guessing that hurts more!   At 2:52 PM,  Anonymous said... That being the crow bar hurts more. Oh, and I don't have any volunteers.   At 3:17 PM,  Tammy Washburn said... He said it was an accident :) But I guess I shouldn't have been standing under his ladder! We don't have any volunteers either, and this is why I have a job now. But don't get me wrong.....don't quit attending or participating in church functions...'cus you need the strength & joy fellowship brings. You can occasionally cut back on a few when time gets too overwhelming. If you want to work at camp and can't work at VBS....how about just showing up at VBS a night or two and helping to serve the refreshments or lend a hand with cleanup. This way you can still feel a part of the fun when you can, but not have to invest huge amounts of study time to teach a class this time around.   At 5:11 PM,  Anonymous said... Yeah, that is what I was going to do. I am going to help Friday night and Saturday, but I can't do it Wednesday night or Thrusday night.   At 5:35 PM,  Tammy Washburn said... That's great. Sounds like a plan!   At 1:14 AM,  Crazy Girl said... Jess, I used to be a Sunday school teacher, Children's church teacher, VBS and Kids Krusade Coordinator, All church plays director plus I coordinated all the church dinners, set up for them and bought all the supplies for them. All while raising Dalton and working a 40 hour week job. I got burned out very quickly. Now all I do is plan VBS and Kids Krusade and I am very happy just doing that. Believe me, when you get burned out like that you quickly learn the word NO! You go girl!   At 4:44 PM,  Jess said... I am so ready for a new templet, but I can't seem to find one that I like. GERRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!   Post a Comment << Home