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- I feel robbed, what should I do? -
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Saturday, March 31, 2007
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So. How is everyone? There is a lot more people reading my blog than I thought. So, I must welcome Scott to my blog. Welcome to the Land of Jessica.
There is not really a lot going on unless you would like to hear about the two research papers that I have to write, or the 20 minute presentation that I have to prepare or the two final exams I have or the mid-term I have on Monday. Everything else is due the next week.
Oh, I guess you are wondering why I feel robbed? Right? Well, my dad now has a computer with Internet, and he want access to my blog! This is why I feel robbed. My blog is the place that I come to get rid of my stress. It does not matter what I say here because most of the people that read it are prayer support. I don't have to worry about anything I say being taken out of content or anyone taking offence to what I say. I come here to release my stress. There are things on my blog that I don't want either one of my parents knowing about. For example, the chest pains and panic attacks. Neither of my parents or even Connie for that matter knows about this. I don't want my parents knowing because that would only add to my stress that is causing them. If I give them access to my blog than I will have to watch what I say, and right now I just don't want that?
So, what does a girl do? Am I being selfish? Should I do a blog just for my parents? I don't want to hurt them, but I just want a place I can go for me to release.
Anyway, I hope all is well with you. Later.
Jess
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- The light buld has finally come on -
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Monday, March 26, 2007
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I thought I would share the testimony that I shared last night in church. A couple of weeks ago some got a "panic email" from me. I was dire need of prayer. I didn't go into detail to anyone about what the need was. God knew and I didn't need anyone making a big deal out of it so I just left it as a dire need of prayer type thing. I think what was happening was my body had hit it's exhaustion level and the stress was still building up. I wasn't sleeping enough though I knew I needed to sleep. I couldn't fall asleep because I felt there was a hundred million other things that I needed to do instead of sleep. I have a type of amenia that causes me not be digest my food and get very sick. I was experiencing all of the symptoms of that, but there was something new through into the mix that I wasn't expecting and it scared me. I have having serve chest pains and I couldn't breathe. I felt like the walls were closing in on me and I was slowly smoothing to death. I would have periods where my heart rate would raise and it felt like my heart was going to burst then I would have the pain and shortness of breathe. This went on for about two weeks. It was getting scared because the pain was getting worse. It seemed all I could do is pray and put a smile on my face in order to get through the day. It was the theory if I don't pay any attention to the problem it will go away, but it kept getting worse. At that point all I could do is pray. I finally told God He would have to do something because I couldn't continue. In the past two weeks God has worked in so many way. I had went for two weeks with no chest pains. So, during the testimony service last night I told what God had done. I kinda took my life into my own hands because I had not said anything about this to anyone and had not ask my local church to pay, which I should have done. I'm still learning not to hide behind the smile all the time. So, after I had testified and sat back down the pain hit full force and worse. I couldn't not get into the service and it was one of those service that you didn't mind staying at church all night. God was moving and doing wonderful things, but the pain was so intense I couldn't get to the point I could worship. It came to a point that I had to sit down and hold my my chest because the pain was so bad. Brother Anders and Michele saw me sit at about the same time so they started praying and it seemed like we prayed and prayed and the pain would not go. Finally, I had some relief, but once I got home the pain had returned and is still here this morning. I really do think it is my body reacting to many stressful situations over the past three months. So, I am trusting God for complete healing! He is so good. Later.
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- Praise God, He is so good and faithful!! -
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Wednesday, March 21, 2007
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I am feeling so much joy at the moment that I can't hold back my tears!! First off, a few days ago I requested prayer for my mom's niece. She is doing much better. God has worked miracle after miracle for Sarah. I can't wait until the complete healing comes and the testimony she and her family will have. I know that God will heal her. Next, Sarah's mom, Teresa, sat up a patient care page. It is where she updates the page daily to tell everyone how Sarah is doing and likewise we can post comments to her family. My mom told me to go home and look at. So, I did and I would my mom's posting. EVERY posting either says something about God or about praying. I am thrilled and overjoyed at the same time. God is moving in the lives of my family. I want to see them grow closer and closer to God.
Okay. I guess I should give you guys the whole story instead only part of it. When I went home for Christmas, I was going to spend Christmas Eve with my mom and our family. Then I was going to spend Christmas Day with my dad and my family. So, I was suppose to be at Mom's after I got out of Church. When I got there I got the best Christmas present that God could have ever given me. Damon ask me why it took me so long to get there and I told him because I went to church that morning. He looked at me and yeah, we were going to go to church, but mom had to finish the cooking for our meal. I almost lost it and almost started to cry right then. I told God that I didn't need anything else for Christmas that gift in itself was enough. Then mom my told me yeah, we were going to go, but I had to finish here so we didn't make it in time. She said we went to the Christmas play last week and it was wonderful. She told me the play was about how money and riches on this Earth wouldn't not buy you a home in Heaven. She said the play was touching. Okay, this about floored me. I wanted to cry so bad, but I couldn't because I didn't want to scare my mom away, but once again I silently thank God for the Christmas gift He had given not only to me, but to my family. Since then, my mom, step-dad, Damon and Brock have been going to church regular and seem to be enjoying it. I don't know if salvation has taken place, but I know that the fruits are sure pointing that way. I am so thankful.
Tammi, I guess you where right about who and where our families would be touched. Why was it so hard for me to listen to you?
It seems like when I stepped back and let God have it, He stepped in and started working. Still remember my dad in prayers. He needs salvation. I refuse to let satan have his soul and I want satan to know that! I believe that God will do for my dad what He had done for my mom.
Hope everyone is having as good of a day as I am!!
Love you all!
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- Prayer Request, yes again -
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Tuesday, March 13, 2007
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I talked to my mom last night and her 4 month old niece is not expected to live long. She has a disease that causes her not to be able to eat. They are wanting to put a feeding tube inside her stomach, but the doctors have told the parents not to get their hopes up because no matter what she will not have a long life. They told her it could be two day, two week, two months or two years, but not to expect much.
Also in the process of helping The Jared's move yesterday, I some how stepped off of the steps wrong and fell. I heard a loud pop and then I was on the ground. At first, I thought that I had sprang my right ankle because it started to swell, but was not hurting. My left foot however was in great pain all day and today I can't put my weight on it. I don't want to have to go to the doctor for this so I am trusting God.
Please pray for my little cousin. I know that God's will, will be done, but I believe that God can heal her and do a work in her parents lives and the lives of my family.
I hope that everyone is having a great day. Later.
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- God is so Good -
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Monday, March 12, 2007
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As most of you know last week was not an easy week, but it is over and God worked. I have a new school schedule. I know start work at 3:30am and get off at 7:30am got to class from 8:00am until 1:00pm than head to the second job. God worked and I was able to get my classes switched from night classes to day classes without any problems. That was so wonderful because the last time I had scheduling problems I couldn't get my classes changed.
As for the spiritual part, we had wonderul services Sunday. Sunday morning Brother Anders asks us each to bring a Bible verse and be give a testomny to it. As soon as it said it two verses came to my mind. The first one is Proverbs 18;10. It talks about how God is our strong tower and that the righteous run into it. The second was Psalm 46;1. It talks about God being our strength and defence. Then the song "I can't even walk" was in my mind too. I know it was jumbled when I first started thinking about it, but God brought together when it was time to speak. My thought was that it is very true that God is our strenght and defence, but He can't be those things if we do not run INTO Him. Not just to Him, but into Him. It was just my thoughts. Have a great day. I'll write more later. Class is over. I have to run.
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- I may get shot for this, but I going to do it anyway! Hee Hee! -
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Friday, March 09, 2007
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I have decided that I am going to post something that makes me happy. This year our family is going to have a wedding! Yeah!! We, well I, am really excited for this. We have waited a long time to have this wedding and we finally get to have it. It is my cousin Duwayne and Timberly. The wedding is July 7, 2007. About a week after I found out the wedding date.....Brother Jared told me the convention date which is July 6,7,8. I told him that I would not be there for the Saturday session because is something that I am not willing to miss. He kinda laughed at me and said that was fine. Too bad that I don't have a date for this event. (NO comments from anyone. If you wish to comment of this part you can email me!)
Duwayne and Timberly have been dating for almost 12 years or maybe more. I'm not sure on that , but it seem that Timberly has always been a member of our family. I guess it is like Duwayne is more like a brother to me and Timberly is like the sister I never had. I love them both so much. Since I am on phone with Duwayne while I am typing this he is pressuring me to post so he can see it. I love these two pictures of them. I really like the one with the rose it is my favorite. Also, I have a new baby cousin. Just to clarify Duwayne and Timberly are not the parents of the baby. Timmy and Kisha are. I'll have pictures of that as soon as someone emails them to me! Then I am going to be an aunt. Yeah!!!
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- Blogger Prayer -
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Friday, March 02, 2007
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Hey Guys,
I am in need of God slowing down time for me today and next week. I'm almost to the end of a term and I am no where near caught up. I am so far behind I'm not sure I can even get caught up enough to pass the classes. With the exception of Tammi please pray. Not that I wouldn't love to have her prayers right now she has more than any one person can handle. Please pray. I need time to slow and know that God has done that before and He will do it again for me. Thanks Guys. Later.
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